I have been thinking long and hard about how I’m going to write about my Mother this Mother’s day. This post was created just a year ago, around Mother’s Day and I have not got around to finish it. To be frank, I can’t think of enough words to express how thankful I am to my mother for their upbringing, care, concern and selfless love. But I’m sure anything I do would not be enough, which is why I decide to write this anyway, even if it may be grossly inadequate to thank her for decades of dedication.
When I was younger, I found my mother, probably like most children, a nag and a bother. She is always conducting my life! Telling me to do this, instructing me to do that. Even worse, she appeared to be in a bad mood all the time and always scolded or caned us. At that time, I did prefer my father as he was busy working and out of my hair. And he brought us out to buy toys and eat fast food. As you can tell, I am probably quite a handful. Although I do not get into too much trouble, I have a very stubborn personality and tend to argue more with my Mom compared to my brothers.
However, it is always after having your own child do you fully realise the extend of your past actions. Is that the whole point of having a kid? So you understand the hardships of your parents? Probably. My mom always told me how difficult she was as a child too so I guess it is the same here.
As I was growing up, I took my dad as my role model and look up to him for everything and I felt that I was more of my dad’s type than my mom’s. I thought that I would never adopt my mother ‘s “methods” and would never become like her. However, ever since I had a daughter of my own, I caught myself, on more than a lot of occasions than sounding exactly like her. Be it scolding my daughter and adopting the same disciplinary methods, negotiations with her (yes she is young but she knows she can get things done her way) and even how I express my love for her. At moments like that, it is like deja vu, except with different roles.
At the same time, I lived with my Mother-in-law for quite a few years so I do find a lot of differences in their “philosophy” of bringing up children. There are similarities like: both do it out of love for their children and do their best, but the differences are very distinct as well. For example, my mother is much more lenient in terms of punishment and she has a higher tolerance for mischievous behaviour and her patience is immense. She has also such a huge heart and boundless energy which I believe nobody can match. She is always taking care of someone or someones, even while taking care of all of us as children. I can’t even handle one kid on my own without complaining how tiring it is.
As my husband came from a different upbringing, we tend to have differing methods when bringing up our daughter. However I believe that Grace is getting the best merits of the styles of parenting we can each give.
Perhaps the best tribute I can give my Mom on Mother’s Day is saying that I am slowly becoming closer to her. In the decades she has spent patiently and lovingly bringing us up, sacrificing her time and energy, she has definitely left part of herself in my life and also in the lives of my brothers. In the same way, my second mother (my mother-in-law) has become some part of my husband and thus also influenced the way he is the way he is now, which I really appreciate and love. I have such a wonderful husband because his parents have done a great job.
I guess what I really want to say is:
Thank you mom, I love you!